January 2012
8 posts
OHHHH BILLY...
I always think that going to Ikea is going to be super fun. I’ll get to look at cool quirky Swedish things. Laugh at the names, enjoy the layouts and chow down on some cheap-o meatballs. BORK BORK BORK!!! Ha! Ha! Oh, those crazy Swedes. AM I RIGHT???
But the combination of fluorescent lighting, regurgitated air, and all the Shovey McShoversons who bring their screaming kids to run rampant...
Heavy Metals
Whenever I see these guys on the pier that are painted gold and silver, I always wonder if they started off their first day at the pier BOTH in gold…
Gold Guy #1: HEY! What the hell, man?
Gold Guy #2: What’s your problem, dude?
Gold Guy #1: There ain’t room enough on this pier for TWO gold guys, man.
Gold Guy #2: Then maybe you should go home. And what are you gonna do...
Forever Yours
Oh, how I love Forever 21.
If you’ve never been. It’s glorious!!! The stores are crammed to the hilt with every kind of shirt/pant/scarf/legging/jegging you could possibly imagine.
And most of it’s under 20 bucks! The hell you say!
Some of you may cringe at the thought of buying cheap clothing, but it has its rewards.
Example: Let’s say you want to try out the latest...
December 2011
8 posts
The Runaway
When I was a kid, I went through a phase where I would bi-weekly threaten to ‘run away’ from home.
‘Running Away’ consisted of me loudly announcing ‘I’M RUNNING AWAY!!!’ followed by my gathering some essentials (usually my Glo-Worm doll, some light reading and a few pairs of shoes).
All of this would go into my hobo stick that I had fashioned out of a yardstick and a baby blanket....
The Big Apple of my eye...
Dear New York,
I know we’ve only met a couple of times, and I KNOW it may seem crazy, but I feel like we’re meant to be together -
No - let me finish.
I know you’re not ready for a relationship with me, and maybe it’s just not the right time, but I just can’t get you out of my -
Seriously. Shut up for a second.
Look. I get it. So many others are lined up...
My first red carpet
Just got home from my first red carpet event for the film I produced: Fools on the HIll. I’ve never done the red carpet from the inside before - I’m used to being the one interviewing people.
So crazy!!!! I hope I did ok. It was so surreal.. I was all such a blur. All I know is that I am very proud of everyone involved in the project.
Wow.
and also WOW.
November 2011
10 posts
Check out the trailer that I made for the... →
Fools On The Hill:
A film about political ethics and legislative incompetence that follows one man’s attempts to require politicians to actually read the Bills they are passing — which, strangely, is not currently required anywhere in the U.S.
Me watching the first 5 minutes of Harry Potter...
Me: Who’s that guy? Is that Hogwart?
Him: No. That’s Voldemort.
Me: Oh… OK. Where’s Hogwart?
Him: There isn’t a Hogwart. Hogwart’s is a school.
Me: Oh.
* 1 minute passes.*
Me: OK. So now THIS must be Hogwart’s.
Him: No. They’re at a safe house.
Me: So are Hermione and Harry going to get together OR WHAT?
Him: She’s with the other...
For Halloween I went as the scariest person I could think of…
October 2011
17 posts
Saw these guys at a Halloween party and all I could say was “OH MY GODDD OHHHHHHHHMYYYYYYYGODDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!”
I effing LOVE Halloween.
How the casting went for the new Febreze...
“Hey girls! Want to be on TV?”
“Yeah!!!!”
“Great! Get in the van.”
“What van?”
“The white one behind us with the tinted windows and the motor running. We’re going to blindfold you and take you to an undisclosed location for a sniff test.”
“Ummm… I don’t know about this, Lisa…”
“Come ON,...
This came free with my vitamin shipment today. Vanilla and Peas: together at last!!!
On the Rocks
I saw a rock today that had inscribed:
“PERSEVERE”
And it just was one of those things that hit me when I needed it. I said aloud, ‘Thank you! You are so right!’
To a rock. I was talking to a rock.
I decided I wanted to buy it. I would put it somewhere in my home to give me strength, to remind me to persevere, to inspire me when things were rough.
I picked it up and...
For the record, it would have been easier carving a pumpkin with an emery board and a thimble than with this kit I bought.
Boo is right. BOO URNS.
Hello Shitfaced
Shootin' Stuff
Shooting a pilot that I co-wrote. Wheeeeee!!!
I am working on some fun stuff that I hope to show y’all very soon. Very lucky to be surrounded by such supportive and creative peeps. Also, how freaking CUTE is our actress??? Right?????
Beat it.
Conversation in the car today...
Kyle: When did giving the thumbs-up become uncool?
Eliza: Wait… giving the thumbs-up is uncool?
Steve: I’m pretty sure the thumbs-up was ALWAYS uncool, buddy.
Eliza: What about if you only use a one hand thumbs-up? I’m a big fan of the one hand, thrust-out thumbs-up, A LA MENTOS.
Kyle: And a sly wink. Gotta have a sly wink in there…
Eliza: Always.
Steve: Guys, the...
I googled 'Canadian Thanksgiving' and this is what...
Happy Turkey day to all my Canadian friends and family back home.
And if a picture of a fire-breathing turkey doesn’t express how much I miss you all, I don’t know what will.
Whenever I see a grouping of balanced rocks on the beach, I always think to myself… I bet this guy is on Match.com and his profile says: ‘Hey ladies, I’m the rock guy.’
*swoon*
RIP Steve Jobs :(
Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while...
I totally want to go as this for Hallowe’en, but how do I make it slutty enough????
A chip off the 'ol block
The creator of Doritos passed away last week. Yep. He’s gone to that Cool Ranch in the sky.
And so, I felt compelled to say a few words. (Tells you A LOT about where I’m at, doesn’t it?)
Dear Mr Doritos, I have no idea what you put in those tasty chips… wood, asbestos, crack… but they have always brought me joy (followed by a mild stomach ache).
In your honor,...
September 2011
9 posts
1 tag
Happy Birthday Bill Murray!!!
Me love you long time. :)
Nothing blew up, not a high body count, and there was no nudity.
-Me, describing why I didn’t like Casablanca.
Take THAT, swans!
My dream last night...
I had a dream last night where I was going to a housewarming party at my friend’s house. She is notoriously anally retentive about removing your shoes before entering her house.
In my dream, I am standing at the door and I ring the doorbell. I warn my friends that if they leave their shoes on, it’s off with their feet.
Ha ha. Get it? Feet? Instead of… all right… moving...