My birthday is just around the corner and for some reason, I end up with tons of gag gifts. SO, I want to urge/beg my friends to not-repeat NOT buy me anything.
This ESPECIALLY includes:
Billy the Big Mouth singing Bass (I have 3 of these- 3!!! I got 2 for my Birthday and 1 for Christmas…in the same year!!!)
Pez Dispensers (too many to count).
Anything Jonas Brothers.
The Snuggie. (I know it’s coming for me….)
And pretty much anything that says “As seen on TV”
…unless, of course, it’s these Tater Mitts. Because then I can have the potato-peeling party that I’ve always wanted!
Love, Me!
Hallowe’en is just around the corner and as we all know, tis the season to be slutty. So, I’m brainstorming some ideas for some slutty hallowe’en costumes. Here are the frontrunners:
-slutty bottle of mustard
-slutty bar of soap
-slutty Albatross
-slutty Hitler
-slutty loaf of bread
-slutty barrista
-slutty Happy Meal
(not exactly sure how to go about the last one, but where there’s a will, there’s a way)
A few things I discovered during my first time attending fashion shows:
DO wear black
DON’T wear a smile
DO make a fan out of the designer’s pamphlet and fan yourself.
DON’T make a paper airplane out of the designer’s pamphlet and brag about it to the person sitting next to you. This also goes for origami swans and throwing stars.
DO bring your attitude.
DON’T bring an air horn
DO compliment the designer on their work
DON’T say that you missed the complimentary LSD that they surely must have handed out prior to the show in order for anyone in their right mind to EVER want to wear something so god awful.
DO take all the swag and freebies that you can.
DON’T admit that you’ve already taken all the swag and freebies that you can, and that you have put on fake accents and disguises in order to swindle more.
DO as I say, not as I do.
I will be covering Montreal Fashion Week for a new show that I am working on. I have never been to to Montreal before and I am THRILLED to have been given this opportunity! I am totally planning on eating all the poutine I can and then trying to squeeze into a sample size dress.
HA. Fat chance.
Vive les frites!!!!!
Celebrating my job success at (where else?).
HOOTERS.
Did you know that they include free wetnaps, packets of ketchup and mayo and unlimited paper towel with your meal? What a deal!
Not to mention the complimentary ziploc bag of ice to chill your beer. Klass all-round.
I am having my wedding reception here for realz.
I just had the opportunity to watch Cirque de Soleil and although it was amazing entertainment, I couldn’t help but dissect it whilst watching.
All I could think about was…well, sex. For instance, who’s sleeping with who? Do they all share? Do they have crazy sex lives, or does it pale in comparison to the show? When they do a new trick in bed, do they wait for applause from their partner in order to continue? Do they bring props and light stuff on fire? Do they dress up? Is there a timpani playing?
Or is it totally mundane, missionary style with the lights off…
I simply must know!
Inspired by Kanye West’s stupidity at last night’s awards ceremony, my friend, Billy Reid made this video; catch his work at verytasteful.com
LMAO!! If you haven’t heard these phone messages from when they went viral last year, then you are in for a treat. I just found out that he’s from Toronto…so let’s give him a big shout out.
Dimitri, the lover…*swoon*
I have been in Toronto for almost a week now and I just found out that the city of Etobicoke is actually pronounced Etobicoe.
The ‘k’ is silent.
OK-that’s just dumb. Why not just spell it as it sounds? And since when did the letter ‘k’ become one of the silent letters??? And what the H is the point of having silent letters anyway? How do you think that makes those letters feel? We all want to be heard!
You know what I say to that? I say phooey! Just for that, I’m going to change my name to Phelizak…
…or how about Feklgikzpa- every other letter is silent. How do you like that, spelling police?
It’s time to stand up for the rights of silent letters! They have been silent all these years, and we need to speak up for them!
Who’s with me?
